(Try to hang in there- this one could get long)
Today I had lunch with one of my favorite people in the entire world, my very precious friend Katie. We went to Olive Garden like we do most lunch dates (guilty pleasure, I think so.) She lives in Knoxville so it's definitely a treat when she comes home!
She was talking to me about a book she's been reading called "The Shack"- maybe you've heard of it? Well let me interrupt myself to say I absolutely love talking to Katie because we have very similar views on just about everything- actually there hasn't been one thing we've ever disagreed on. She is the one friend I have never had a fight with and she's the one friend I've never even be mad at. I positively love this girl. Back to the nitty gritty. I haven't read the book (yet- I plan on buying it tomorrow or Sunday) but she was giving me the run down. Basically (her version) it's about a man who felt God called him to stay in this shack for a week. He spent a week with God. He is saying in the book that the Bible, the 10 commandments, the "rules" God gives us are just ways of having a relationship with Him. Which I'm sure is nothing new to you. Of course we follow the rules and make God happy. Katie verbalized everything I've thought but never knew how to explain. God doesn't say "you have to do this or you're going to Hell". These things He gives us are guidelines to living a life in a relationship with God. He doesn't make us follow these "rules". If you have a relationship with God you just want to do things to please Him, right? I do not believe this is an excuse to kill, lie, steal, commit adultery, etc but I do believe following these guidelines just comes with having a relationship with Him.
If you put it into another relationship it's easier to see. Parents. They've got rules right? And their rules are there because they love you (or that's what they tell us anyway). If a child doesn't follow their parent's rules that doesn't make the parents love them any less does it? It will however put a strain on the relationship. You will have a hard time ever getting along. As children we don't really want to follow the rules or do the things our parents want us to but we do it out of respect because we love and appreciate our parents. If parents didn't have rules kids would probably feel a little unloved or un-cared about (if we are honest). I have a feeling if I asked my mom about not following her rules she would say something like "I will always love you, nothing you could do would ever change that (she said that the other day so I know for sure she'd say that part) but I have guidelines to living here and being around me; if you can't live with those then you may move on". A very Felica thing to say.
We also use this when choosing friends. If there are people who do things we don't like or we don't approve of do we keep them around? Do we hang out with them outside of school or work? Nope. We may not hate those people and we may even respect them but we still don't have much to do with them because they aren't like us.
We should probably try this in our other relationships (such as significant others). As a younger girl I had soooo many rules and lists for guys. I wasn't a very good girlfriend. I had rules and guys had to follow them... The guys I dated had rules and I had to follow those. Lately I've realized I don't need rules for guys I date. That's so stupid!! I should like the guy for who HE is- not who I MAKE HIM. I could like anyone if they followed my stupid rules. What a GREAT feeling to not have any rules but have a guy do or not do the things I like or don't like because he respects me and our relationship! It's so so so ridiculous to have rules in relationships! You don't want someone who is just doing something because it's on your list of things that is ok because that's just you doing all the work. Let someone show you they care by not doing something they know would hurt you or upset you because they WANT to. Imagine the divorce percentages, the young heart aches, the high school break ups that could have been prevented if the world started using this method of dating or marriage? You know the things you can live with and the things that are a deal breaker- if your significant other doesn't satisfy these then move on! Don't try to change someone!! Just go fishin' and snag you another one! Oh how I wish I had known this earlier! I'm only 19 so I guess I'm lucky to know it now!!
Imagine our relationship with God if we used this with Him. If we did things He appreciates because we love Him and we long for a great, healthy relationship with Him, and not because we look at the Bible as a list of rules He gives us because He has nothing better to do! God has plenty to do without checking up on us and checking His daily rules checklist for Lindsey Welch today.
Easier said than done though. I'm preaching to myself more than anyone here! In the God aspect I sometimes think "Wow God I don't feel like following rules today" (Just being honest). I shouldn't think of it that way. In the parent aspect I don't agree with my mom's rules but I respect her so I'll follow them but sometimes I honestly do it just to keep the peace (again just being honest). In the significant other aspect I don't have rules (you can't go here, you can't talk to her, you have to text me every 2 hours, etc) but sometimes boys don't make the best decisions so I tend to try to make them see it my way (still not a list of rules but let's BE HONEST AGAIN and just admit boys need a little help.) As a female I can look at a sitaution before I do it and say "would I be mad if he did this" or "how is he going to feel about this" (most of the time I'm good at that) and if I decide I wouldn't like it then I can say I care more about him to hurt him like that. It's a simple concept but so hard to put into practice.
Prayers for that are appreciated!! :)
That's all... sorry if it took you your whole lunch hour to read this!
Love you all.
